What scary movies teach you
My boys have been bugging me for the past year to rent scary movies... like "The Ring" or "The Grudge" and I've been very adamant about not giving in to them. First and foremost, most of the big horror flicks are way too frightening and inappropriate. And second, I'm the world's biggest chicken when it comes to scary stuff, especially if they have creepy little kids in them.
Now that Sam is 11, I thought we'd try out a few mild scary movies to test the waters. Over the past month or so, we've watched "Ghost Rider", "The Others", "Alien", "Poltergeist" and "The Sixth Sense". Only the last two have done any serious freaking out on the boys. They asked me if I'd go into the light after them (absolutely) and why don't people turn on the lights when they go into an empty room (that's just what people in scary movies do).
Because I'm always looking for an opportunity to educate my children, with each movie we established a list of rules for not letting the monsters/ghosts/aliens get you. And they are:
1) NEVER, EVER MAKE A DEAL WITH SATAN. He is one bad dude and you should avoid him at all costs. Nothing is ever worth giving up your soul.
2)NEVER, EVER SEPARATE FROM THE GROUP… OR GO BACK FOR THE CAT. Safety in numbers and you can always get another pet. When they get older I'll add the teen slasher corollary... never sneak off to have sex with a skank because those are the kids the serial killer goes after. It's always the nice, non-skanky girls who live.
3) IF A VOICE IN THE HOUSE TELLS YOU TO GET OUT, GET OUT! I paused "Poltergeist" after Carol Ann got sucked into the TV and told the kids, "If that ever happens to one of you, the rest of us are packing up and leaving. You don't argue with evil spirits. And besides, you should have listened when I told you to stop sitting so close to the TV!"
4) IF ADULTS (ESPECIALLY DEAD ONES) SHOW AN UNHEALTHY INTEREST TOWARD YOU, RUN AWAY (BUT NOT TOWARD THE LIGHT) Live adults who pay an inordinate amount of attention to you may be pedophiles. Run, run, run!
5) IF YOU SEE DEAD PEOPLE, TELL YOUR MOTHER IMMEDIATELY Again, she may abandon you like she would if you were stuck in the TV. But then again, she would probably get you some help and medication.
Now that Sam is 11, I thought we'd try out a few mild scary movies to test the waters. Over the past month or so, we've watched "Ghost Rider", "The Others", "Alien", "Poltergeist" and "The Sixth Sense". Only the last two have done any serious freaking out on the boys. They asked me if I'd go into the light after them (absolutely) and why don't people turn on the lights when they go into an empty room (that's just what people in scary movies do).
Because I'm always looking for an opportunity to educate my children, with each movie we established a list of rules for not letting the monsters/ghosts/aliens get you. And they are:
1) NEVER, EVER MAKE A DEAL WITH SATAN. He is one bad dude and you should avoid him at all costs. Nothing is ever worth giving up your soul.
2)NEVER, EVER SEPARATE FROM THE GROUP… OR GO BACK FOR THE CAT. Safety in numbers and you can always get another pet. When they get older I'll add the teen slasher corollary... never sneak off to have sex with a skank because those are the kids the serial killer goes after. It's always the nice, non-skanky girls who live.
3) IF A VOICE IN THE HOUSE TELLS YOU TO GET OUT, GET OUT! I paused "Poltergeist" after Carol Ann got sucked into the TV and told the kids, "If that ever happens to one of you, the rest of us are packing up and leaving. You don't argue with evil spirits. And besides, you should have listened when I told you to stop sitting so close to the TV!"
4) IF ADULTS (ESPECIALLY DEAD ONES) SHOW AN UNHEALTHY INTEREST TOWARD YOU, RUN AWAY (BUT NOT TOWARD THE LIGHT) Live adults who pay an inordinate amount of attention to you may be pedophiles. Run, run, run!
5) IF YOU SEE DEAD PEOPLE, TELL YOUR MOTHER IMMEDIATELY Again, she may abandon you like she would if you were stuck in the TV. But then again, she would probably get you some help and medication.
posted by Queenosheba @ 1:35 PM
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