FIVE THINGS MEN NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

1. Not everything we do and say is about sex
Seriously, we do Kegel exercises only because we don’t want to wear Depends when we’re in our forties. And when we tell you to put the hot dogs back in the refrigerator, it’s not an invitation to the boudoir, we really want those $5 a package Ball Parks back in the frig.

2. Our hormonal highway rides aren’t a picnic for us either.
At least you can get away from us. We’ve got nowhere to go.

3. You actually need to listen what we’re saying 95% of the time
It’s funny to joke with your buddies about how women talk all the time about nothing, but really, it’s only about 5% of the time… so, feel free to tune out about our awesome $20 brown suede boots or how much we can’t stand Becky’s new boyfriend, but pay attention the rest of the time because 95% of the time what you weren’t listening to, will be the basis for a future fight.

4. We pay attention to detail
Do you really think you can pull one over on us? You may assume the pair of mens’ underwear under your side of the bed belongs to you, but if we find a hair on your pillow that’s one shade different than ours, we’re at the DNA lab. And most of the time, the reason you don't know that we know right away, is because we’re also pretty good at denial.

5. Actions speak louder than words
You can tell us you love us a thousand times a day. But it doesn’t mean a thing if you don’t show us how much you love us. Give us a back rub that’s just a backrub. Take the kids to their playdate to give us some private time. Go to a musical with us. Be nice to our idiot brother.