Boiling my potato!

I have to admit that I'm a very irritable. And not just at certain times of the month.

And it really irritates me when my co-workers can't spell, don't know the appropriate place for an apostrophe, or don't change the roll of toilet paper.

But the one thing that seriously boils my potato, are the idiots who don't know how to microwave popcorn! Come on, people, it's not freaking rocket science!

We've had the same damn microwave for over five years. It has a popcorn button. And hey, after the first time you are nauseated by the smell of burnt popcorn wafting through the hallways, don't you think you'd realize the stupid popcorn button is not accurate and wait for your popcorn to finish? That's just four minutes out of your day as opposed to three hours of your co-workers inhaling the awful stench of your stupidity.

I just read a memo from the Seattle City justice center, letting the employees know that if they don't stop burning the popcorn, triggering the smoke alarms and causing a building-wide evacuation (which in a government building includes criminals; in a corporation, they hope you burn to death so they can stop paying your benefits) they will be forced to ban microwave popcorn. The final line of the memo? "Listen to the pop, to know when to stop". That is right up there with, "turn around, don't drown". Does everything have to rhyme for idiots to understand it? What are we looking at next? The Dr. Seuss version of your Miranda rights?

Sigh.

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

If you're too stupid to pop a bag of popcorn in the microwave, you aren't smart enough to be employed. I think it should be listed as allowable grounds for dismissal in the employee handbook.

Music running through my head

My head has been eclectic mosh pit of tunes lately. My top 5 platters this week:

1) The Essential Simon and Garfunkel. "America" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water" just smooth all the wrinkles out of my day.

2) Cabaret: The original movie soundtrack. I remember my mom and dad taking us to the drive-in to see this movie. Shortly after, my mother bought the album and we used to perform all of the songs. Make fun of Liza Minelli and her marriage to the freakish David Guest, but when you listen to "Maybe This Time", you realize what a talent she truly was.

3) The Paul Simon Collection. A by-product of the S&G cd? No, just memories of my best friend's late mother. Listening on those big ol' headphones to "Kodachrome" and "Loves me Like a Rock" just as my music tastes were forming and expanding like the sides of an active volcano.

4) The Traveling Wilbury's Collection. What a collection of talent! And you can even understand Bob Dylan! Sort of. Sure, there are only three songs I keep listening to over and over again, but they just make me feel all perky and happy.

5) "Punk Rock Girl" by the Dead Milkmen. Discovered this wonderful tune on a mix that I created based on They Might Be Giants. It's bouncy, it's clever and let's face it, how many song lyrics mention Minnie Pearl? You've got to love that.

I'm Back!!!

Yes, after a long silence due to an unbearably slow computer and an incredibly busy life, I'm back!

I went back-to-school shopping this weekend with my kids. Granted, I had the lists earlier than normal this year, but my husband had his knee replaced, I had to replace one of my co-workers and my extended family has suffered many illnesses. So, I was a wee bit behind. And I dreaded going out to shop among the last-minute slackers. But I learned a valuable lesson.

In a world that is so full of people, there are far too many of us who behave like we're the only human beings on the planet. For example, I'm shopping at one of my favorite new stores and as I'm proceeding down the very wide aisle, I was brought to a complete halt by two women who were perusing and exchanging items between their carts. Now, they could have pulled off to the side and done this, but noooooooo, they chose to place their carts diagonally across the aisle, completely blocking the path. I stood there, waiting for like three minutes. Both of them saw me but neither moved out of the way so I could get through. Finally, in a huff, I stormed back down the way I came. Oh, did I also mention they had a three year old standing up in the back of one cart? Not only were they inconsiderate, they were stupid.

After this incident, I began to really pay attention to those who abandon their carts in the middle of the aisle while they peruse labels, take up two parking spaces, don't pay attention to traffic lights and generally just go through life like they're the only inhabitants on this planet.
Come on, people! There are too many of us for you to behave this way! And I know my complaints, in the whole scheme of things, are small. But when you look at it on a larger scale, these are the same people who cause the five car pile-ups on the interstate or stand by while someone is robbed or assaulted.

But in the middle of all this self-absorption, I found one glowing spark of humanity. As I was selecting the 24 count colored pencils from the bin at Target, another mom said, "There are colored pencils in this bin that are on sale for 78 cents." I told her my older son needed the larger pack and that they too were also on sale and I thanked her. See? Was that so hard? She took two minutes out of her busy day to lend a hand. Imagine how much nicer the world would be if everyone took two or more minutes a day to be helpful to someone. And you know, it kind of gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling, too.

A few other notes... now is the time to catch up on "Ugly Betty" before the new season begins...
same thing for "Grey's Anatomy" and "House". "World Trade Center" vs. "United 93"... "United 93" is the definitive 9/11 movie because it brought back to life the horribleness of that day for the victims and the helpless onlookers.

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

What goes around, comes around. Usually we only use that saying when we're referring to people who have done harm. But it works for performing kindnesses, too.