FIVE IMPORTANT WORDS TO REMEMBER FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE

THE FIVE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS TO REMEMBER IN A MARRIAGE

TRUST If you can't trust your partner, your relationship is in serious trouble. I'm not just talking about fidelity or lying to each other. Knowing that each of you are pulling your weight in the relationship without constant supervision… paying the bills, taking care of the kids, getting the oil checked, putting the tube back on the toothpaste.

FORGIVE No marriage runs smoothly all the time. Big hurts and small slights are going to happen. You will never have a healthy relationship if you cannot forgive and move past these things. Forgiving is more for your own benefit than your spouses and forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Let it go, but don’t let it happen again.

COMPROMISE You are two individuals bound by love. But you were raised in different settings, have opposite opinions and don't have the same tastes. So you have to learn how to mediate a middle ground that will give both of you satisfaction. And it can’t just be one partner who is doing all the compromising. Remember, you’ve got to give a little to get a little and no one is perfect. Not even you.

LAUGHTER If you don't share the same sense of humor, you're sunk. You need to be able to laugh together, at each other and at each other. Sometimes, a situation that could turn into a senseless argument can be diffused with a little humor. Being able to laugh when things are rough helps release tension. And laughter, when you’re sharing a private joke, is wonderfully intimate.

BERTHA This is the name of your future cell-mate slash girlfriend in the pen after you're convicted of killing your husband. How do you avoid bunking with Bertha? Communication. Don't let things fester. If he's doing something that's driving you crazy, tell him. You may find out that you're pretty annoying too, and he's been hovering over your sleeping form with a pillow clutched tightly in his hands. If you can't let each other know what you need, what you want or why the way he cracks his gum could lead to his premature demise, your marriage won't succeed. If you can't communicate productively, get some counseling.

Your mailbox is full

The other day at work, I decided to check my personal email. And I had ten items waiting for me.... all FROM me. Remind the older son to pick up his sports pictures from the high school office... don't forget to pick up vitamins at the store... an idea for the morning show... and a few other things I needed to remember. Either I'm getting old and forgetful, or I just send myself emails to make myself feel popular.

Since I'm already incredibly well-liked, I'm going to have to assume it's the former. Then I began to wonder why someone who can remember the name of Hitler's dog (Blondie) and all of the state capitols, cannot remember the day-to-day details of her own life. I also send myself voicemails, email myself at my work address and fill my work bag with post-it notes.

I've always been absent-minded. I wrote it off to my considerable intellect, and got used to setting the alarm clock ten minutes earlier so I would have time to look for my car keys each morning. But it has gotten so much worse lately. So, now the question comes down to, am I just getting older or is the mailbox in my life and my head so perpetually full that, like Outlook, it simply stops accepting new messages?
Probably both.

On the drive home from work today, I thought of a very clever line to finish this post with. But since I can't email myself or write a note while driving, and I've lost my cell phone that has a voice recorder on it, I got nothing.