Three couples and a baby

"Grey's Anatomy" was soooo good last night! Izzie has put Denny's money to good use and Bailey can feel like she's making a difference. Derek and Meredith weather their first fight as a real couple. McSteamy decides to hang around and throw his hat in the ring for chief, and while you think to yourself, "He's such a dick, how will he get the boss job?", you know there are far too many dicks already in power. Like the two in the White House.

Ooops, almost got sidetracked with anti-Bush sentiment. Back to Grey's. Addison is also pursuing the chief's job. And Alex told her to stop avoiding him. He only kissed her back because she was the boss and he wants in on more surgeries. I'm glad the evil Alex is back. I like him better. But the biggest stories of the night were George's and Burke's respective proposals.

Christina, finally realizing you can concede a few battles and still win the war, gave in and spoke to Burke. His first words back to her were "Marry me". Christina looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Will she say "yes"? I don't think so. She may have decided she's willing to allow a long-term relationship to co-exist with her professional ambitions, but I don't see her making a matrimonial committment. On the other hand, old homophobic Isaiah may not be long for the show. She may say yes, they kill him off and she becomes even more bitter and cynical than she is now. And that would be cool too, because I like bitter Christina better than soft-hearted Christina.

And George, after riding Callie like the motorized pony in front of Walmart, has decided that he doesn't just want to make wild, monkey love with her. Her presence alone makes him feel better (like he couldn't just say that instead of making her walk funny). He loves her and wants to marry her. Now, if she hesitates because he's still distraught over the loss of his father, that's understandable because I wouldn't marry a man in the throes of grief over the death of a loved one... well, maybe I would if he was due to inherit a lot of money. But, I don't think she trusts him enough to marry him, but she is possibly insecure enough to say yes.

But what do Lucky and Elizabeth from "General Hospital" have to do with "Grey's Anatomy"? Other than they're both TV shows that are centered around the medical profession. Nothing.

I am just tired of Elizabeth's hem-hawing over whether or not to come clean about the father of her baby. "I don't want Lucky" but "I can't bring myself to tell Jason he's the father". The couples on "Grey's" will have been married, unfaithful to each other, divorced and remarried by the time mewling Elizabeth makes up her mind. The Metro Court hotel is due to blow up and I hope at least one, if not all of this annoying triangle perish in the flames.

I so need to get a life. Seriously. Oh, did you know you could watch Grey's on-line if you miss it on Thursday? Good quality, and you can choose your segments.

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

I got this email yesterday and laughed my butt off.

BUSH BUMPER STICKERS

1. 1/20/09: End of an Error

2. That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

3. Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First

4. If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

5. Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

6. If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

7. Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant.

8. Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

9. George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

10. Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore

11. America : One Nation, Under Surveillance

12. Jail to the Chief

13. No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq ?

14. We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language

15. We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

16. Is It Vietnam Yet?

17. Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either

18. Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

19. When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46

20. What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You Understand?

21. One Nation Under Clod

22. Bush Never Exhaled

23. At Least Nixon Resigned

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better...

WHO IS THIS WOMEN AND WHAT HAS SHE DONE WITH DANIEL MEADE'S BROTHER, ALEX?

If you did not watch "Ugly Betty" last night, I will not spoil it for you. But if you did watch, OHMYGOD!!!!!

I never saw it coming! Of course, next week is a rerun, so we'll have to wait until February (sweeps) for a new show, but it was so good! You know, good entertainment is so hard to find on television. And "Ugly Betty" is a fine of example of good television. If you're not a viewer, do yourself a favor and get "ugly".

GREY'S ANATOMY SEWS IT UP

Using their always excellent whip-stitch, Grey's wrapped up all the loose ends from the beginning of the season last night. And they tied it all up with the death of George's father. I cried for the entire last half-hour of the show. Nine years ago, this week, I lost my dad, so it really hit home. I loved the brother farting outside of the hospital room and the story was handled in such a wonderful manner. And it affected everyone at Seattle Grace... reminding them that life is short, so stop sweating the small stuff. Burke took the first step out of his silence with Christina. Meredith finally confronted her father. McSteamy realized he wouldn't have made a good father. (although I found this storyline to be a little too flimsy and a little too late to be a thread in the McSteamy/McDreamy/Addison

triangle). George grew closer to Callie, who gave up an excellent surgical opportunity to be with him. And Izzie and Bailey realized that getting personally involved with your patients is often unavoidable, but okay as long as you don't cross the line. I can't wait until next week. Back to sex and freaky medical cases.

This week was just too deep for me.

QUICKIE DVD REVIEW

Are you one of those sick and twisted bastards who laugh everytime Kenny gets killed on South Park? Then you will love "Team America", the all-puppet movie from the creators of South Park. It is wrong on so many levels. It is rude, crude, violent and there's puppet sex. But it's freaking hilarious! If you're easily offended, do NOT watch this DVD. And just because it's puppets, IT IS NOT FOR THE KIDS!

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

Last night, when George told Christina he couldn't imagine living in a world where his father didn't exist, she told him that feeling never goes away. And she's right. Even nine years later, I still miss my father terribly. Two weeks ago, someone sent us a family video with him in it briefly, and it brought immediate tears to my eyes to see him. Unfortunately, you couldn't hear his voice. Which made me sad because I would dearly love to hear my father's voice again.

A day late and a dollar short

I forgot to talk about last Thursday's "Grey's Anatomy"! Bad fan, bad fan!

First off, the whole George's dad story is breaking my heart. Intellectually as a doctor, he knows what's going to happen. But as a son he just cannot deal with it. When he couldn't go into the room after the surgery, I bawled. Well, according to my dear old departed dad (gone 9 years as of today), I would cry at a basketball game if my team was winning.

But even as I can empathize with George's pain, I am sick and tired of his flip-flopping with Callie. She, too, is guilty of being wishy-washy. When George decides to commit, she wants no part of him. Then when she wants him back, he's through with her. So what if she slept with McSteamy? Like, who hasn't? From what I've seen so far, the real reason he moved to the West Coast was not to follow Addison, it was because he'd banged everyone on the East Coast and was looking for new meat. Either boink or get off the pot! Geez.

The snoring storyline was very cute. But again, Meredith is too whiny for my taste. Let the poor man sleep in another room if you can't stop snoring. To hell with your abandonment issues, the dude's job literally is brain surgery, he needs his rest! And would you please just put on your big girl panties and confront your father? Your mother has balls, why don't you?

I do love Christina and Burke's war of silence. While I agree with Addison that it is "pathetic", it was so sweet to see her sleeping on the couch in his room. And thank goodness, Izzie finally put that damned check in the bank. What is she going to do with all that money? Hmmm. That was pretty apparent when she and Bailey happened upon the mother who was fighting with the insurance company.

Perhaps all of my gripes will be answered in the second part of this episode on Thursday. Probably not. We're around the corner from sweeps. Gotta leave us dangling!

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

America Ferrara's acceptance speech for her Golden Globe award. All teenage girls who may be awkward or chunky or different need to listen to this speech and remember that just because you're not a size 2 or a cheerleader, you are still beautiful, worthy of love and capable of achieving greatness . Pretty is truly only skin-deep and age evens the playing field. So play up your strengths instead of dwelling on what you consider to be your weakness and you will be a force to reckoned with.

The Riddler Strikes Again!

Remember that annoying Batman movie with Val Kilmer and Nicole Kidman? In the movie's defense, I can't stand Val Kilmer, so I tend to find any movie with him in it, annoying. Except for "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang".

My point, Vanessa? Oh yes, the Riddler created a device that would drain the brains of Gotham's citizenry as they watched television. I think that George W. Bush has one of these devices and has begun to use it.

After his speech Wednesday evening about his "new plan" for the Iraq War, my mother told me she thought he had a point because if we don't fight this war over there, they're going to be bringing it over here.

Uh, isn't that the same arguement he used originally to hornswaggle everyone into this war? And my mother hasn't shown any signs of Alzheimer's, so I've got to assume that Bush has purchased one of those brain scrambler devices from the Riddler. I also watched him on "60 Minutes" on Sunday (I covered my head in tinfoil to "foil" the Riddler's device) and guess what? He's still an arrogant ass.

DVD Review

"Lucky # Slevin" Filled with a slew of big names such as Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, Ben Kingsley and Josh Hartnett, this movie has a dark and twisty plot that is given away in the first ten minutes of the movie. If you really pay attention, that is. And the end is wrapped up a little too sweetly for a movie of this genre. Other than that, it's fun to watch and when the pieces do come together in the end, it's enjoyable to pat yourself on the back for being so clever.

YOU on a Diet update!

I haven't been griping about the new eating habits because other than the higher grocery bill...

can you explain to me why food with less stuff in it costs more?... it's not been like a diet at all.

So today was the two week mark and I've lost 9 pounds and 2 inches off my waist. I also feel better and don't get indigestion as often as I used to. But other than not feeling like I'm starving to death, the most surprising part was how yummy some of this good-for-you food is! Okay, so honestly, a bag of Ruffles and a tub of French Onion dip will always taste better, but I don't feel like I'm suffering with yucky food.

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

It's the one thing all fat girls hate to admit. There are no magical diets or pills out there that will make you thinner overnight. Don't you think if these pills and/or diets actually worked they would even have to advertise? All it would take is one woman telling another and BAM!, the inventors would be multi-billionaires. We all know the truth. The only way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. Yeah, it sucks. But when you're 43, it beats the hell out of dying too soon.

Much Ado About Nothing

PAST-DUE BOOK REVIEW

"Thirteen Moons" by Charles Frazier. This book is the highly-anticipated novel from the man who brought you "Cold Mountain", one of my favorite Civil War era books. Just let me say, "Thirteen Moons" was well worth the wait. As a very old man, Will Cooper recalls his life as an adopted member of an Indian tribe who tries to keep his tribe safe in the Great Smoky Mountains of North Carolina as the United States government steadily pushes the Native Americans westward until it succeeds in wiping them off the map. Will's story as a "great white chief" weaves its way in and out of historic events such as the tragic "Trail of Tears" and the Civil War and intertwines with that of his true love, Claire, whom he first meets when they're both twelve. Frazier tells a good story and his writing is simply lovely.

CAN I SPEAK TO A HUMAN BEING, PLEASE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've switched to another prescription plan at work. I couldn't just register on-line, I had to call and finalize my registration. And that meant sitting through a half hour of automated options, none of which included speaking to a REAL PERSON!!!!!!!!! Seriously. Why do I have to wait through five menus for that option? I think to lessen the heart attack and stroke death rate, the government needs to enact a law that requires a universal "press 0" option on every automated phone system that allows you to choose to speak to a REAL PERSON whenever you want to. Somewhere along the line, my civil rights are being violated. I just know it.

MARTIN LUTHER THE KING DAY

If you've seen the movie, "Barbershop", y'all know that MLK day is for gettin' your freak on. I jest. MLK day is to honor the memory of one of the finest persons in our countries history. On MLK day, we should all read "Letters from a Birmingham Jail" and his "I Have A Dream" speech and ponder on what it is that we can do to end prejudice in our corner of the world.
But lo and behold, there are several merchants who are promotiong MLK day sales. What is wrong with these people? Okay, so we've already besmirched the memory of the brave men and women who fought for our freedom with Veterans' Day and Memorial Day sales. And that's wrong, too. But isn't there just one iota of human decency left in America's greedy corporate machine? Silly question.

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

There are bad people and there are good people. You can't tell them apart by their gender, their religion, their location or by the color of the skin. They come in all shapes and sizes. The only way to know the difference is to get to know the person. There are so many other reasons than gender, religion, location or color to dislike others. Seriously. (can you tell I'm excited about the new "Grey's Anatomy" tomorrow night? I've so overused the word, "seriously". Like totally)

Shake'n'Bake!

DVD REVIEWS

If you're in the mood for totally mindless entertainment and a plethora of silly quotable lines, you have got to see "Talladega Nights, the Ballad of Ricky Bobby". You don't have to love (or hate) NASCAR racing to get the jokes. Will Ferrell, as usual, is hysterical and his supporting cast... John C. Reilly, Gary Cole and the others... keep right up with him. And there is an actual story line that makes you care about the characters. Seriously.

And having said, "seriously"... a week from tonight... a new "Grey's Anatomy"... cannot wait!

Another movie I managed to squeeze in last weekend... "The Matador". Pierce Brosnan is an aging hitman on the verge of nervous breakdown. Greg Kinnear is a businessman in Mexico to land the deal that will end his streak of bad luck. Their lives become intertwined in this dark comedy that is as heartbreaking as it is funny. It's kind of hard to watch the usually suave and gorgeous Brosnan play a degenerate jackass, but in the end, you still like the guy.

Book review

Wow, I actually had a lot of time on my hands over the long weekend. I read the new Stephen King novel, "Lisey's Story". Again, Mr. King does not disappoint. Lisey (rhymes with Cee-Cee)
is the widow of a famous writer. Two years after his death, she is finally ready to clean out his study. Soon, she discovers herself in the middle of suppressed memories and a whole other world. Literally. Personal favorite moment? King references one of my favorite obscure literary quotes from D.H. Lawrence "Women in Love"... "it's you who must return, like a dog to its vomit". Damn, that's beautiful.

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

I got nothing.

He's a pickin'...

and I'm a grinnin'! We were talking about Hee Haw at work today and it always makes me smile because it reminds me of my dad. SALUTE!

POST-HOLIDAY TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME

The yearly crash after the sugar-high. The diet to get back in (was I ever "in") shape. But this year, we're more concerned with being healthy than being thin. So, I'm following the "YOU on a Diet"book by those docs who are always on Oprah. It's not a diet, it's a guide to healthier food choices and exercise. You don't measure your weight, you measure your waist. If you've tried every freaking diet on the planet and the word "diet" makes you dive into a carton of Edy's Thin Mint ice cream, try this book. Of course, it's only been two days since I started, but it's okay so far. (those inveterate dieters out there may begin laughing hysterically right now).

And speaking of post-holiday stress, let me share my gift card story with you. My aunt gave me a $30 gift card to Target (said, "Tar-zhay). So, I go to the store and spend a delightful half-hour filling my cart with greatly reduced Christmas decorations, wrappings, etc. When I get up to the check-out, I gleefully hand them the gift card, knowing the whole cart will only cost me about five bucks out-of-pocket. They swipe the card and the card is only worth 3 bucks!

After laughing heartily, because apparently the clerk who waited on my aunt missed a zero when she typed in the amount, I called my aunt, who was horrified. Imagine if she'd given that card to someone in her husband's family. What a cheap bitch she'd look like! The only problem I had was now I was worried about the gift cards I'd handed out. Somewhere out there may be someone calling me a cheap bitch too.

KRAKATOA: THE GAME!

My third-grader has to do a book report about a Disaster. Which is all fine and good. There are many interesting ones to choose from. The Johnstown Flood has always been one of my favorites. He has to do a written report and a project. His project choices include a model, a diorama, a mobile or a GAME. Cheese and rice! How do you make a game out of a disaster?
Apparently, you have to be sick and twisted. Like me. Here are a few ideas I've come up with:

Titanic: Fish the most people out of the North Atlantic to win
The Johnstown Flood Don't Break the Dam
The Chicago Fire of 1871: Beat Mrs. O'Leary's Cow to the Lantern
The San Francisco Earthquake of 1906: If you pass the fault, you collect $200 dollars, but if you land on a quake or fire square, you go directly to cemetary

I know, I need help. Blame it on the lack of trans-fats.

QUICK DVD REVIEW

"Little Miss Sunshine" This movie is the best movie I've seen in the last year. Funny, poignant and a little out-there, it's the story of a family who decides to drive from Arizona to California so little 7 year old Olive can compete in the Little Miss Sunshine contest. The family includes Mom, Dad, older brother Dwayne who has taken a vow of silence, Uncle Frank who recently tried to kill himself and Grandpa who was kicked out of the nursing home for snorting heroin.
The characters do not become caricatures and there is no wallowing in freakish misery, the kind you find in most dysfunctional family indie films and the kind I am totally sick of. "Little Miss Sunshine" is a breath of fresh air for your dreary January.

THE SUPREME WISDOM OF THE QUEENOSHEBA

If you're not first, you're last. Yes, I stole that from Ricky Bobby's daddy, Reese. And I'll be reviewing that movie tomorrow.